it's simple

if you miss someone, do something about it.
I only mention this because it's something I've been trying to do this year, however completely unrelated it is to the topic on my mind.

I need a new mantra - don't be hypocritical. If I expect people to act to a certain standard and are unimpressed when they fail to, I can't stoop to the same level. My words are beyond my petty thoughts and have an impact on the people involved. Even if said people say they don't care, it doesn't make what I did any better. I'm not looking for specific forgiveness or sympathy, just some trust that I'm really not like that. You can't stop people from building impressions and this is a rather shit one. Judging people was rather shit.

They say that it is human nature to be hypocrites and living, breathing contradictions. It sounds like an excuse to me; even if that is the case, it shouldn't stop you from trying. Take responsibility.

I still sound like I'm instructing others what I need to take on board myself. We could all do with a little less judgement in the world though, I guess.

oh year nine.

things that make me smile: scraggly bunches of young phresh macrob, melbourne high and random other school combinations standing in small circles near the ticket barrier at box hill, and passing a particular group comprising of two guys and three girls, where everyone's body language is rather shy and slightly held-back except for the scrawny kid with the tiny head, almost fobbishly short hair and a pristine woolly blazer that is clearly too big for his shoulders, lapel laiden with clumsily proud badges--form captain, maths extension, macrob school badge. pallas glints at me and I am reminded irresistably of 2008. "let's swap ties!" hah.