don't know why i keep doing this to myself

or why other people do this to me.
The internet's too vast, you never know who could be reading... but to maintain a blog is to be willing to share these with a strange online audience.
It's a weird square (not even a triangle as I first thought), I feel let down, incredibly annoyed at how constrained and selective I have to be in venting, and how the last thing in the world I want to do is write a 1200 word story due in tomorrow when there are clearly more pressing concerns on my mind. I want to ask, for a peace of mind, but should I really sacrifice a possible good long-term relationship for the sake of temporary peace of mind? Will this peace of mind be temporary, and even if I do get it it will hurt my pride in another way.
"It's not anyone's fault," Mel says. Still can't help it entirely.