Tuesday 19 June 2012
how does that even...
Last night, my dad and family friend left for China after visiting for three weeks.
This was our family friend's first time out of the country.
Almost every night she was here, she would sit at the kitchen bench with glasses borrowed from Mum (because she lost all her pairs in Sydney and Queensland) with our tablet and read news websites banned in China. She asked to see pictures of the 1989 Tiananmen Square Massacre. She would sit motionless for a couple of hours at a time, only moving her hand occasionally to select other stories, only moving her mouth every now and then to utter a sigh.
It's not going to work forever, it's not even working properly now, and when it starts crumbling to a point when they should be worried, I wonder what they're going to do.
This was our family friend's first time out of the country.
Almost every night she was here, she would sit at the kitchen bench with glasses borrowed from Mum (because she lost all her pairs in Sydney and Queensland) with our tablet and read news websites banned in China. She asked to see pictures of the 1989 Tiananmen Square Massacre. She would sit motionless for a couple of hours at a time, only moving her hand occasionally to select other stories, only moving her mouth every now and then to utter a sigh.
It's not going to work forever, it's not even working properly now, and when it starts crumbling to a point when they should be worried, I wonder what they're going to do.
Thursday 14 June 2012
work small, think broad.
My problems are clear. First of all, everything becomes more interesting when there are exams to study for. I don't recall being as inspired or enthused to research so far and widely on everything I'm reading about now, because new things are presented to me all the time. Everything just wants to rush out in a messy stream of word-vomit but I'll try to go through everything slowly.
I'll start by scrambling for a connection between what I'm currently doing and what I'm supposed to be doing - my interests having some sort of uni-related foundation. Despite everyone's complaints about Reason, the ideas it has brought to me throughout the semester, some of which I've left but others - particularly ones mentioned only fleetingly, like George Price - I've taken upon myself to look into further.
What's been on my mind? This 1996 article on George Price from The Guardian Joey linked me this morning, where I pondered out in an extremely long reply where my fascination and confusion lay - a staunch atheist turning to organised religion when findings based in his own life work - cold, hard mathematical and scientific proof - render him desolate and depressed beyond any salvation but a Christian one. The mathematical equation of altruism implying that other traits - so sweepingly, forbiddingly referred to as the 'darker side of humanity' in all of this - can similarly be passed down, commanded by evolution. A man of science so shaken by the discovery that these traits we thought so unique to humankind can have biological limitations... perhaps, in some ways, it would've blurred the distinction between religion and science somewhat. Those who stand firmly on the side of the latter have often criticised destiny, fate and implied lack of free will religion presents. What a betrayal it must've felt to discover that no matter what avenue we choose to draw our beliefs from, scientific or religious, that even in the field of his choosing, it is not any divine commandment but genetics shaping us from the get-go as to who we are. Not necessarily... it would've comforted him to think more greatly about what the journalist continues to ponder. Our morality isn't dictated by evolution:
Evolutionary theory is a science of averages and mathematical abstractions, whereas we live our lives uniquely and unrepeatably. The altruistic or selfless acts that interest us as ethical beings are those that people choose freely, not those we cannot avoid.
So maybe in his charitable work with the poor in his life following this refinement of the altruism equation desperately sought to prove this to himself, daily. This somewhat reminds me of my ever-shortening tether to exam preparation. Does morality come from reason or our will?
That should currently be my main focus, and yet I treat it as a tangent. TED: Ideas Worth Spreading first crossed my path during O-Week, when a volunteer wearing a 'TEDx' t-shirt presented me with a bookmark, asking if I was interested in bringing 'good ideas' to Melbourne Uni. The vagueness of it all made me apprehensive, so I accepted the bookmark but just moved on, not bothering to find out what he was actually talking about. Lo and behold, I link it back to my subjects again - throughout the semester, we watched plenty of population health-related TED talks in Famine, mostly by Hans Gosling (love that guy and his storage boxes to represent millions of people, and his massive pointing stick). Even more recently - i.e. when SWOTVAC started - I decided to take more initiative and see what other subjects were on offer. Thank god for newsfeed updates, because the videos present themselves to me in stalkfeed quite frequently. I just finished watching a talk given by the co-founder of Health Leads, an organisation striving to reform healthcare in America by empowering doctors to provide prescriptions for nutritious food, heating etc. just as they would medicine, to combat underlying socio-economic issues - which often lead to preventable medical presentations. The prevention over treatment principle has never rung out so strongly with me, and that is because I am getting impatient with all the good ideas that are bombarding me. Ideas - good, new, innovative ideas - are powerful instigators of motivation and inspiration, and necessary to wreak change. It's the manifestation of these ideas into action, however, that truly impresses me. I think what Health Leads envisions and that the work they carry out is not only important, but also clever in that their main source of labour is college student volunteers. Their mission is targeted, and specific, and that's the way it should be.
Work small while thinking broadly.
How do I personally want to contribute? This is where I really wanted to start the post, when I began typing 'My problems are clear' - there's so much I want to do, and I don't think that dabbling in a bit of this and then heading over for a bit of that will be neither effective nor satisfying. I believe in equipping myself with a set of solid skills I can use to analyse and solve problems. There are many innumerable skill sets that contribute to policy formation - economics, finance and politics being only a few of personal interest (although recently, thanks to famine, global health is on the agenda as well), as well as engineering and all areas of specific studies under the broad spheres of sciences, physical and social. Dabbling allows me to gain a grounding and appreciation of what others do, but in order to contribute meaningfully, I need to find out what I can do best. Work small but think broad.
Being able to get a message across, as I've mentioned before, is so crucial in actually seeing your plans come into fruition. Throughout history, there have been many instances where advocates lay their cards on the table. They bear their hearts and raw passion to the people, and the people lap it up. I just don't think you can only rely on the sincerity you personally feel towards your mission, or public exposure and awareness. These things must continue, of course, but you need better ways of presenting a reasonable case to the skeptics and, even more challengingly, the indifferent. The skeptics who actively oppose your stance will have a vested issue in the subject already, but the first step in reaching out to the indifferent is to engage them in the first place. You do not successfully do this by preaching. Finding out what matters to them and acknowledging that you know it's important is key. From this, a number of things can happen.
First is that they can find within their own value system some method of supporting yours. Commercials on TV which started cropping up maybe as early as last year or the year before do a perfect job of revamping the 'save-the-environment' message: 'This is ____. ____ is not a hippie, ____ is not looking to save the planet, ____ just wants to save on her electricity and gas bills.'
"Save the environment, save the planet."
People aren't convinced when you throw a big, hairy, audacious goal at them.
Sometimes when they try, the overwhelmingness of what you're asking them to achieve leaves them floundering and forgetting the simple measures they can take to help out.
"Turn off your appliances at the powerpoint and save a few on your bills."
Better, and tangibly helpful.
Second is that if their values are completely contrary, the very fact you have acknowledged them places them in clear comparison. They may learn from you, but most importantly - you might learn from them. You might have what you think are the clearest goals for the most benevolent outcome in the world, but there are going to be flaws in what you want to achieve.
Understand the people you are trying to connect with.
I have to get up in about three hours, but my last notable plug as of late has already been linked in the post below, but Zen Pencils is a bloody good website in general. See what you personally get out of it.
Work small, think broad, learn what makes the people around you tick.
LEMON OUT.
I wish I had a citrus fruit surname.
Being able to get a message across, as I've mentioned before, is so crucial in actually seeing your plans come into fruition. Throughout history, there have been many instances where advocates lay their cards on the table. They bear their hearts and raw passion to the people, and the people lap it up. I just don't think you can only rely on the sincerity you personally feel towards your mission, or public exposure and awareness. These things must continue, of course, but you need better ways of presenting a reasonable case to the skeptics and, even more challengingly, the indifferent. The skeptics who actively oppose your stance will have a vested issue in the subject already, but the first step in reaching out to the indifferent is to engage them in the first place. You do not successfully do this by preaching. Finding out what matters to them and acknowledging that you know it's important is key. From this, a number of things can happen.
First is that they can find within their own value system some method of supporting yours. Commercials on TV which started cropping up maybe as early as last year or the year before do a perfect job of revamping the 'save-the-environment' message: 'This is ____. ____ is not a hippie, ____ is not looking to save the planet, ____ just wants to save on her electricity and gas bills.'
"Save the environment, save the planet."
People aren't convinced when you throw a big, hairy, audacious goal at them.
Sometimes when they try, the overwhelmingness of what you're asking them to achieve leaves them floundering and forgetting the simple measures they can take to help out.
"Turn off your appliances at the powerpoint and save a few on your bills."
Better, and tangibly helpful.
Second is that if their values are completely contrary, the very fact you have acknowledged them places them in clear comparison. They may learn from you, but most importantly - you might learn from them. You might have what you think are the clearest goals for the most benevolent outcome in the world, but there are going to be flaws in what you want to achieve.
Understand the people you are trying to connect with.
I have to get up in about three hours, but my last notable plug as of late has already been linked in the post below, but Zen Pencils is a bloody good website in general. See what you personally get out of it.
Work small, think broad, learn what makes the people around you tick.
LEMON OUT.
I wish I had a citrus fruit surname.
Tuesday 12 June 2012
striking a balance
Children have this ridiculously sensitive radar when it comes to spotting hypocrisy. So when I tell off my tuition kids for eating in class when they shouldn't, that of course means I have to let my apple oxidise on the table for another hour while my stomach growls in protest.
It also means I need to yell at girls who eat in class just as much as the guys who eat in class or be accused of 'sexism' and lots of 'oOoOOOOoOoooOO-ing' from all over the room. Twelve year olds.
It's not about the eating though - it's the attitude. With it, I cannot deal. I had my many bratty moments as a kid/tween/teen/even now but finding myself increasingly hypocritical in the way I deal with those bursts of bad attitude.
Every time a child feels misunderstood by their parent or teacher or some form of adult, they should write down exactly how they feel and how they think it could've been dealt with. It should be a mandatory universal manual. Even now, all my past instances are becoming hazier and hazier as I revert to the traditional 'adult' method of dealing with my students which I hate. There's a quote I once read and I can't believe I haven't been able to google it on the internet, but it goes something like...
"Children live in a world surrounded by a ten-foot wall, and adults only have five-foot ladders."
Work on closing the gaps everywhere.
It also means I need to yell at girls who eat in class just as much as the guys who eat in class or be accused of 'sexism' and lots of 'oOoOOOOoOoooOO-ing' from all over the room. Twelve year olds.
It's not about the eating though - it's the attitude. With it, I cannot deal. I had my many bratty moments as a kid/tween/teen/even now but finding myself increasingly hypocritical in the way I deal with those bursts of bad attitude.
Every time a child feels misunderstood by their parent or teacher or some form of adult, they should write down exactly how they feel and how they think it could've been dealt with. It should be a mandatory universal manual. Even now, all my past instances are becoming hazier and hazier as I revert to the traditional 'adult' method of dealing with my students which I hate. There's a quote I once read and I can't believe I haven't been able to google it on the internet, but it goes something like...
"Children live in a world surrounded by a ten-foot wall, and adults only have five-foot ladders."
Work on closing the gaps everywhere.
Friday 8 June 2012
and it goes on and on and on
Amanda Palmer is quite amazing. Reading through her blog
Also, something my dad said to me on taking Reason, a subject that's essentially the history of philosophy, and doing arts in general:
I'm glad you're learning these skills because they'll be important no matter what career you have. Learning this will make you a cultured, more knowledgable person. You won't be one of those people who doesn't know anything and can only talk about their job... 我人为你学像reason这些最基本基础对你将来无论什么职业都会有好处。使你变成一个更有文化的人， 以后不是那种只会织讨论工作的人。那多无聊啊！这样也是一种没出息的人。
Which I think is one of the nicest things he's ever said to me. He can be very set upon and passionate about his own points of view, which is why we've always clashed so much... so when he says something anything, I know he means it, and it's nice to know he means this.
I still feel nagging paranoia and the need to justify myself, which makes me come off as quite defensive. Obviously it hasn't been completely reconciled within myself. My mind is swayed this way and that, and it's most annoying to be told by people that I have no sense of direction in life... when I think my idea of where I want it all to head is much clearer than most. Specific degrees sometimes indicate certainty, but for most people I know, they instead indicate fear and a need to know exactly where they're going to end up, and what kind of career is going to be bringing in the money to put food on the table. There's either a lack of confidence though or probably a typical parents-stopping-you-from-reaching-your-dreams.
Yet, what happens if someone you know wants to study art or music but you know that they're truly shit? Years of piano and music theory have confirmed to me personally that I'll never be great shakes as a well-rounded musician. It's these kinds of things that are intuitive and you're either born with the talent or not. You can work as hard as you can and raise yourself from below average to mediocre, mediocre to good, good to a little above average... or harder still, below average to above average, mediocre to pretty damn good, whatever names you choose to give the degrees, it's still not going to be the same as someone who is born and, well...
I know I'm a cynic and it would delight me to be proven wrong by the sort of people I have in mind. If it doesn't, what happens when something you've based your identity upon fails to meet you halfway?
As far as I can remember, my earliest ambition was to be an author. Tiff linked me to this which in turn led me to this and then, as Facebook is so wholly integrated into my life, I popped over just to make sure Neil Gaiman was indeed one of my 'Likes', forgetting momentarily that I occasionally see his updates in my newsfeed. His current profile picture is a Simpsons rendition of himself, which reinforces one of the key things I've drawn from the Simpsons - if you feature or are referenced in the Simpsons, you know you've made an impact on pop culture. For good reason too - the man is extraordinary in what he does and remains my favourite author. Even in that address I just linked, his imploration to make good art... that's something I firmly, passionately believe in, but too much of me is still cautious to completely agree with him - another one of those, what if you are just really not that good at what you want to do? - is it too much to ask for a chance to give it a wholehearted go but have another life at the same time? I don't want people to assume that writing is the very essence of my being either.
What have I really been passionate about?
Something that no-one has to tell me to do, that I forget about the other constraints of time when I'm doing it and capture my easily wandering attention instantly?
Madrigal... history... my ideas. I still thinking too much thinking and not enough doing, especially acting upon what you're thinking, is a vice, and I know it from personal experience.
Why the fuck am I scared to let my ideas known in certain groups and how much does their approval matter? I'm pretty sure I'm doing myself a greater disservice by being so goddamn careful about where I verbally tread. To be uninteresting is the worst.
I don't mind what takes up my time as long as I feel it's fulfilling in some way. So I've had less time to study this semester... but I've gone out and made myself realise what I can do and what I have yet to learn - it's a weird mixture of putting myself down, where I remind myself of what's yet to come but at the same time trying to bully myself into showing what I already do have.
Finally, sometimes when I reach that point and I think I know a lot of principles, gotten them securely under the belt, I need to ask myself if I'm seeing them through and living by them. Practising what I preach. If I really want to help on a larger scale, I should start with supporting the people immediately around me.
Also, something my dad said to me on taking Reason, a subject that's essentially the history of philosophy, and doing arts in general:
I'm glad you're learning these skills because they'll be important no matter what career you have. Learning this will make you a cultured, more knowledgable person. You won't be one of those people who doesn't know anything and can only talk about their job... 我人为你学像reason这些最基本基础对你将来无论什么职业都会有好处。使你变成一个更有文化的人， 以后不是那种只会织讨论工作的人。那多无聊啊！这样也是一种没出息的人。
Which I think is one of the nicest things he's ever said to me. He can be very set upon and passionate about his own points of view, which is why we've always clashed so much... so when he says something anything, I know he means it, and it's nice to know he means this.
I still feel nagging paranoia and the need to justify myself, which makes me come off as quite defensive. Obviously it hasn't been completely reconciled within myself. My mind is swayed this way and that, and it's most annoying to be told by people that I have no sense of direction in life... when I think my idea of where I want it all to head is much clearer than most. Specific degrees sometimes indicate certainty, but for most people I know, they instead indicate fear and a need to know exactly where they're going to end up, and what kind of career is going to be bringing in the money to put food on the table. There's either a lack of confidence though or probably a typical parents-stopping-you-from-reaching-your-dreams.
Yet, what happens if someone you know wants to study art or music but you know that they're truly shit? Years of piano and music theory have confirmed to me personally that I'll never be great shakes as a well-rounded musician. It's these kinds of things that are intuitive and you're either born with the talent or not. You can work as hard as you can and raise yourself from below average to mediocre, mediocre to good, good to a little above average... or harder still, below average to above average, mediocre to pretty damn good, whatever names you choose to give the degrees, it's still not going to be the same as someone who is born and, well...
I know I'm a cynic and it would delight me to be proven wrong by the sort of people I have in mind. If it doesn't, what happens when something you've based your identity upon fails to meet you halfway?
As far as I can remember, my earliest ambition was to be an author. Tiff linked me to this which in turn led me to this and then, as Facebook is so wholly integrated into my life, I popped over just to make sure Neil Gaiman was indeed one of my 'Likes', forgetting momentarily that I occasionally see his updates in my newsfeed. His current profile picture is a Simpsons rendition of himself, which reinforces one of the key things I've drawn from the Simpsons - if you feature or are referenced in the Simpsons, you know you've made an impact on pop culture. For good reason too - the man is extraordinary in what he does and remains my favourite author. Even in that address I just linked, his imploration to make good art... that's something I firmly, passionately believe in, but too much of me is still cautious to completely agree with him - another one of those, what if you are just really not that good at what you want to do? - is it too much to ask for a chance to give it a wholehearted go but have another life at the same time? I don't want people to assume that writing is the very essence of my being either.
What have I really been passionate about?
Something that no-one has to tell me to do, that I forget about the other constraints of time when I'm doing it and capture my easily wandering attention instantly?
Madrigal... history... my ideas. I still thinking too much thinking and not enough doing, especially acting upon what you're thinking, is a vice, and I know it from personal experience.
Why the fuck am I scared to let my ideas known in certain groups and how much does their approval matter? I'm pretty sure I'm doing myself a greater disservice by being so goddamn careful about where I verbally tread. To be uninteresting is the worst.
I don't mind what takes up my time as long as I feel it's fulfilling in some way. So I've had less time to study this semester... but I've gone out and made myself realise what I can do and what I have yet to learn - it's a weird mixture of putting myself down, where I remind myself of what's yet to come but at the same time trying to bully myself into showing what I already do have.
Finally, sometimes when I reach that point and I think I know a lot of principles, gotten them securely under the belt, I need to ask myself if I'm seeing them through and living by them. Practising what I preach. If I really want to help on a larger scale, I should start with supporting the people immediately around me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)