The wild enthusiasm I displayed for Christmas as a child has slowly petered to a stage where I am awake on Christmas day at 2:22am, perusing various websites related to Richard Dawkins and Carl Sagan. A fervent atheist since her days at Catholic school, my sister said it best about what Christmas has to give to us secular folk when she came over today to watch carols, and that is the ability Christmas has to bring families together and spend time with each other. Of course, we shouldn't need a celebration borne from one particular religion in order to make time for our loved ones, but seeing as for the time being that Christian beliefs are so entrenched in Western society, the fact that Christmas is a public holiday does make gathering and reunions a lot easier. If you can't change the status quo overnight, use it to your full advantage.
So why the Dawkins and Sagan? I first came across Dawkins back in 2007 when I read The God Delusion, which he published a year earlier, and he did crop up a fair bit in my history of philosophy and reason subject earlier in the year, but I can't thank Zen Pencils enough (is this probably my... third plug? of the website on this blog) for making me aware of one Carl Sagan, who's enormous amounts of work I am yet to properly browse. Always mildly annoyed that I feel restricted from expressing secular thoughts (as previously written about here) I committed a rather non-confrontational, passive aggressive retaliation to the religious Christmas status updates occasionally peppering my Facebook newsfeed by liking the official Richard Dawkins Foundation for Reason and Science page an hour into Christmas. This in turn just got me into thinking about religion in general.
This article from the website is certainly controversial and I do not agree with the way it has been written - sexual abuse is not something I find easily comparable in the sense to say that it is more or less serious than other kinds of abuse. As one commenter rightly pointed out, different forms of abuse will have different effects on children. What stuck with me was the explored impact of what it is like for children to be introduced to concepts of heaven and hell, and that non-believers of their faith are condemned to the latter. This caused my mind to wander back to an msn conversation I had in primary school, with a friend who remains close to me to present day, who also happens to be a devout Christian and let's just say that this friend showed a very persistent... inclusive spirit when were younger, but thankfully has eased up some as we grew up. How ten year olds writing back and forth in pink and purple fonts with an array of emoticons got onto such topics as hell is beyond me, but given that I was not Christian, I remember posing the question to my friend, "So do you think I'm going to hell, then?", that was answered with something like "you're too gawjuz, I lub you" (ironic spelling intended) before the conversation went down another path, but it stuck that the reply I received was neither serious nor direct, so I assumed the answer had to be yes.
In the scope of things, it doesn't really matter to me either way, but what must it feel like going through life knowing that some of the closest people to you are eventually headed for eternal damnation? or is the case as mentioned in the Dawkins article, that they've eased up on the whole hell thing - reinterpreted, or softening the blow for a sticky spot? I'd Google, or better yet ask, but I should rest my mind and body for the yummy Christmas feast storm set to hit my belly in about sixteen hours' time.
Murry Chrustmas, y'all.
Tuesday 25 December 2012
Sunday 16 December 2012
do what you wanna do
'I watched my peers, and my friends, and the ones who were older than me and... I watched how miserable some of them were. I'd listen to them telling me that they couldn't envisage a world where they did what they've always wanted to do anymore, because now they had to earn a certain amount every month just to keep where they were. They couldn't do the things that mattered and that they really wanted to do and... that seems as big a tragedy as any problem of failure.'Neil Gaiman never went to university because it didn't interest him but luckily, possessed the freakish talent and brilliant mind required to succeed in the literary world. Man.
There's a lot I would like to elaborate upon but seeing as I'm two hours and thirty-four minutes away from my functional plan deadline I should hop to it. The real reason I'm posting this here is simply because I'm getting rid of it from my Facebook quotes and want to put it somewhere that I will remember, lul.
Wednesday 12 December 2012
The after-thought prelude
Yesterday was the first time I have dialled an ambulance after hearing tyres screech on the bitumen three metres behind me, hearing that collision of metal on flesh and turning around to see a figure sliding off the bonnet of the taxi. A businessman and the driver in a bright turquoise turban stepping out, the latter repeating 'it was a green light? It was a green light!' nervously.
He was running across the road when his iPod fell and he became distracted. His point of contact with the windscreen was his head, at thirty kilometres an hour, but it was the lower back pain he was most concerned with. He was conscious and could feel all four limbs. I feel bad for the taxi driver, nit all should be clear from a legal side of things.
When remembering back to his first words as he rushed out of the vehicle, you can't help but marvel how people automatically do rush at their own defence as if from fear of retribution. Conditioned by society, and reminds me of the story of how so many passed the hit-and-run toddler in China out of the desire not to be implicated legally. Similar stories occur in Vietnam, apparently. It is the musings of how we as westernised Australians of Asian-heritage would fare raised under those circumstances that lead to the below topic, after a fashion... and the most likely outcome is that we wouldn't even know any different. That in itself is so scary. How much of ourselves would we still be and how much would we owe to the external environment? Hence below.
He was running across the road when his iPod fell and he became distracted. His point of contact with the windscreen was his head, at thirty kilometres an hour, but it was the lower back pain he was most concerned with. He was conscious and could feel all four limbs. I feel bad for the taxi driver, nit all should be clear from a legal side of things.
When remembering back to his first words as he rushed out of the vehicle, you can't help but marvel how people automatically do rush at their own defence as if from fear of retribution. Conditioned by society, and reminds me of the story of how so many passed the hit-and-run toddler in China out of the desire not to be implicated legally. Similar stories occur in Vietnam, apparently. It is the musings of how we as westernised Australians of Asian-heritage would fare raised under those circumstances that lead to the below topic, after a fashion... and the most likely outcome is that we wouldn't even know any different. That in itself is so scary. How much of ourselves would we still be and how much would we owe to the external environment? Hence below.
For Christine
When prompted on nature vs. nurture via Facebook chat, with terrible grammar and some attempt at paragraphing:
i think there's enough empirical evidence from an infinite variety of different cases
where growing up in a certain environment or having an event happen to someone has impacted them to act in a particular way. people are born with different levels of potential, but it's like this: http://zenpencils.com/comic/94-the-two-wolves/ as to how they are ultimately shaped.
the empirical evidence isn't what i would base my entire argument on, but i do think each person has their natural inclinations and, as discouraging as it sounds, limitations. However, no matter which is more or less correct at the end of the day, I still think living by the belief that environment can help you realise that potential is the most constructive way to live. person A might never have as high of an IQ as person B, but by always challenging themselves to be better and think differently, at least leads a fulfilling life.
I think that our environments really dominate in this way tweaking and bringing out whatever in our personalities it 'feeds' while other things we have a capacity to be lie dormant. doing my political ideologies subject this semester, especially the essay, made me realise that the very crux of an ideology depends upon what interpretation of human nature people are willing to employ. so for the sake of simplicity, when we limit it down to whether humans are naturally social beings or competitive i.e. collectivist vs. individualist, communism goes to one extreme and liberalism to the other and neither of them are really quite right... altruism can and does exist, as well as the ability to cooperate, but at the same time, competitive interests are equally there and can help spur on progress. it'd be too easy, for example, for a communist to take everything i've said so far and make a case for themselves that if both cooperative AND competitive spirits exist within a human being, then by nurture we can spur on the cooperative side and quash out the competitive... but I highly highly doubt that's possible. it's the attempt of doing so which has brought so many disasters to countries that have attempted to reach the true state of communism.
interpretation is paramount, and it helps keeps your line of argument consistent if you can always come back to what you think a human being is like, and capable of.
Sunday 9 December 2012
"An assertive reaction to bullshit"
I have no patience for people who publish these carefully constructed posts which painstakingly outline an inkling to a thought that they're trying to present as so original, something you couldn't have possibly thought of before. This sounds very mean and snobby, because who am I to scorn the attempts of people trying to be different? We've heard from countless sources in our lives (if we're lucky enough, that is) about how wonderful being creative and original are and these are definitely things I think we should strive to be. I go on and on about how much I love innovation and positive progress, and what do they even mean when people are too afraid to go beyond boundaries?
What I'm more specifically trying to condemn, I suppose, are those who have deep phobias of being the slightest bit 'unoriginal'. This, surely, is what gave rise to hipster, indie, alternative or whatever cultures that avoid 'mainstream' trends and activities at all costs. What are you really trying to achieve by automatic opposition of what is 'popular'?
Again, I don't think I'm quite getting to my point... what's the use of being so intensely fearful that something you think or say has possibly been thought or said before? I find it fascinating that two people from different eras, locations, cultures and circumstances can be linked by nothing whatsoever but their thoughts alone. It's somewhat comforting, these recurring ideas that bind us humannnssszzz. Do I sink into and hide behind ironic speak out of fear? Most likely.
At the very least, as long as you don't allow this attitude to degenerate into a need for validation, it's a more optimistic way to face that disheartenment when your perceived way of 'paving the way forward' has already been established before - marvel at the commonality and at the same time, question it. Find out what's different about yours. What's better of the lot. Swallow your pride and use it. Keep moving.
Sunday 11 November 2012
Two things I've learnt this year
We champion principles so much in debating, but it is the principally consistent arguments that are often most impractical... or at least, have the most harmful consequences. This was made clear to me during the Australs 2012 Grand Final where the aff won on the topic 'That there should be a good samaritan law' based on principles, despite the neg having demonstrated the devastating consequences of a well-meant yet ill-informed intervention. The emergence of this news story in the weeks following very aptly placed a (horribly disfigured) face to those concerns. I've more recently been neck-deep in readings and comparisons between political ideologies, and it's been particularly evident in looking at communism vs. anarchism, with the consistency of the latter - that all forms of organised authority are inherently oppressive - not quite withstanding the logic of the former in a transitional proletarian state eventually withering away into a classless society. I'm still confused as to exactly where I stand on these matters. I like the idea of self-sustainability. Education and empowerment over perpetual aid, always. I also appreciate that there are very real limits to these, and hopefully I'll figure it out for myself over the course of my degree...
However, I am pretty skeptical about the communist interpretation of human nature... and equally as skeptical of the supreme power of the individual, as interpreted by anarcho-capitalists.
However, I am pretty skeptical about the communist interpretation of human nature... and equally as skeptical of the supreme power of the individual, as interpreted by anarcho-capitalists.
Now, there are consistent libertarians, people like Murray Rothbard—and if you just read the world that they describe, it's a world so full of hate that no human being would want to live in it. This is a world where you don't have roads because you don't see any reason why you should cooperate in building a road that you're not going to use: if you want a road, you get together with a bunch of other people who are going to use that road and you build it, then you charge people to ride on it. If you don't like the pollution from somebody's automobile, you take them to court and you litigate it. Who would want to live in a world like that? It's a world built on hatred.
Noam Chomsky, Understanding Power
Murray Rothbard does scare me, though. In Power and Market, his proposed arguments that restrictions upon market such as child labour and minimum wage laws create 'compulsory unemployment' and deadweight loss as a result of outrageously preventing children and certain workers from entering the labour market are the perfect example of homo economicus on crack.
This leads onto the second thing, which concerns the handful of models I've encountered in my studies of first year economics. From the very onset of supply-demand, we were told that assumptions always underly every neat mathematical or graphical representation of what are, at essence, rather complicated decisions made upon facts that are scarce and sometimes subject to bias. The assumptions are made so as not to cloud the general principles with unnecessary detail, but they can give us greater insight into how the world actually works than the models themselves. For most of my cohort, these assumptions were just a pain in the ass that you had to remember for assignments and exam questions, lest they take off marks, preventing you from completing a compulsory first commerce subject and moving onto bigger, better accounting and finance-related pursuits where keywords 'internships', 'grad positions', 'vac work', 'big 4' and for the more ambitious, 'IB' are thrown around. Was that tangent just a chance to throw in a casual bashing of my morally-bankrupt peers? Perhaps, but in harking back to my original point, all I mean is that introductory micro and macro are just subjects to be passed, so trust the arts kid to read more into things. I'm pretty pleased to see how the implications of what we learn are so interconnected with politics, philosophy, geography and society itself... John Nash, father of game theory and that famous equilibrium of his, was a mathematician. Keynes, who essentially gave rise to modern macroeconomics as we know it, studied philosophy at university, only dropping in on economics lectures every now and then. The problematic circumstances of currency pegging to West Germany that partially formed the basis for the creation of the EU were due to the social and political implications of East and West Germany forming one nation, one state.
Seeing how everything relates makes life so much more interesting, and dabbling in a bit of this and that all the more tempting. In order to keep my focus, I'll need to maintain the attitude of think broad, work small. Maybe stop procrastinating by writing this and get back to studying, too.
This leads onto the second thing, which concerns the handful of models I've encountered in my studies of first year economics. From the very onset of supply-demand, we were told that assumptions always underly every neat mathematical or graphical representation of what are, at essence, rather complicated decisions made upon facts that are scarce and sometimes subject to bias. The assumptions are made so as not to cloud the general principles with unnecessary detail, but they can give us greater insight into how the world actually works than the models themselves. For most of my cohort, these assumptions were just a pain in the ass that you had to remember for assignments and exam questions, lest they take off marks, preventing you from completing a compulsory first commerce subject and moving onto bigger, better accounting and finance-related pursuits where keywords 'internships', 'grad positions', 'vac work', 'big 4' and for the more ambitious, 'IB' are thrown around. Was that tangent just a chance to throw in a casual bashing of my morally-bankrupt peers? Perhaps, but in harking back to my original point, all I mean is that introductory micro and macro are just subjects to be passed, so trust the arts kid to read more into things. I'm pretty pleased to see how the implications of what we learn are so interconnected with politics, philosophy, geography and society itself... John Nash, father of game theory and that famous equilibrium of his, was a mathematician. Keynes, who essentially gave rise to modern macroeconomics as we know it, studied philosophy at university, only dropping in on economics lectures every now and then. The problematic circumstances of currency pegging to West Germany that partially formed the basis for the creation of the EU were due to the social and political implications of East and West Germany forming one nation, one state.
Seeing how everything relates makes life so much more interesting, and dabbling in a bit of this and that all the more tempting. In order to keep my focus, I'll need to maintain the attitude of think broad, work small. Maybe stop procrastinating by writing this and get back to studying, too.
Sunday 28 October 2012
Drawing from your own reserves
How old is the average child when they first learn to tie their shoelaces? When the mother and I dnm, one of her favourite recurring stories to tell is that of when she bought me my first pair of lace-up shoes and told me to do them up on my own. After giving it a few goes, she says that I let the laces fall, looked up to her from my sitting position on the floor and stated simply in English, 'I can't do it.'
Now, this story always makes me a bit depressed, when I look at it from the societal lens where persistence is always admired and rewarded. The Little Train That Could? The generic protagonist from that movie you saw awhile ago on tv that no-one believed in, and yet made it in the end and showed everyone up? That one guy we all know who after more than a year's worth of courting, finally gets the girl? My own determination to do well in the face of my high school who told me not to do methods in year eleven... you get the general idea. Was toddler-me that much of a quitter? It really didn't sound like I tried at all!
My mum thinks otherwise. Particularly after my impassioned rants about what I want to do with my life in the future, she'd always preface the story with, 'I knew from when you were small, that you were different from other kids...' and to her, it was the clarity with which I acknowledged my limitations that she found surprisingly impressive.
Most of my friends view me as a cynic so they find it strange that my family actually thinks the polar opposite of me. To them, I'm the driven idealist who's always got mass-scale change on the mind. What to do as the lone wolf with a future BA when your mother was a sensible teacher of Chinese medicine, your father a sensible engineer and your sister a sensible doctor? Apparently reassure them through the recollection of little anecdotes like this, I do know my limits.
All very well and good, but I'll just leave this here...
 |
| Kudos to Ouran High School Host Club - you continue to serve me well. |
... and bide my time.
For too long, my excuse for not writing has been a lack of inspiration, of worthwhile stories and carefully crafted (or deliberately 'raw') characters. This beautifully simple idea which resounds with me now can't only be acknowledged, but put into practice - if you want someone to believe you, the best place to start is by telling the truth; your own truth.
"Writers are liars my dear, surely you know this by now?"
--Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 3: Dream Country.
Wednesday 19 September 2012
frantically pouring it
from my brain, onto this page (screen?) now.
- The old man in the striped polo intently learning how to place pictures into word documents and different text-wrap settings in the Apple store in Doncaster
- Maybe lack of originality should be thought of instead as the comforting view you share with other human beings
- How to deal with shitheads
- How to
come to terms withbe confident in sharing and defending (?) what I want to do - Comparing myself from the start of the year till now (reflective fun).
I've been linking Rudyard Kipling's If to a lot of people these days. When I even think about the very first condition set... 'If you can keep your head when all about you/ Are losing theirs and blaming it on you', that's a very heavy ask of anyone. Particularly of myself. My exhaustion-induced sickness has made me fairly edgy the past few days and the ever-present injustices that face me have been getting to me, all at once. How do you keep calm and sane when no-one else around you makes any sense, and what's more, make you their scapegoat? If my current frustrations are enough to send me over the edge, how would I even respond to another stand-out challenge of the poem: 'If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken/ Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools'?
The answer is very simple in principle but so hard to follow through with: suck it up.
This is just like (although very unlike) my problems with Chinese. I've identified the self-imposed barriers between myself as I currently stand and becoming really proficient in the language so that now it's even more unforgivable that I don't take the measures to really get over and humble myself, put my head down and just work towards my goals. It's just that, in the end. My fucking ego and sensitivity with a weird mixture of distain, reluctance and there's definitely a hint of fear somewhere in there.
I had to get my macbook hard drive replaced last week, and made several trips to the Genius Bar in order to transfer all my files and arrange the repair. During my second visit, I happened to be seated near the rest where Apple employees run workshops on how to use the Macs and certain programs. I pretty much described the guy in my above attempt to get all my thoughts down before they escaped me. I feel pretty bad because he glanced at me while I was staring at him and there were hints of defensiveness and insecurity in his gaze. What I really wanted to convey to him was how much I admired him though. Someone in his position, with my kind of attitude towards Chinese, would probably scoff technology, declare they didn't need it but secretly have some desire to become competent and always be hesitant to tried for fear of failing, being laughed at and ridiculed. I admired what it meant for him to be in the store, such a bustling, public place, openly receiving instructions on commands and operations that would come as naturally as breathing to Gen Y.
I love that kind of attitude. No matter how old we get, how many people tell us it's 'too late' or how many times we get laughed at and ridiculed whether with deliberate ill intentions or not, if we always maintain that thirst to learn and improve ourselves to the end... that's a life pretty damn worth living.
If I despised myself, it would be no compensation if everyone saluted me, and if I respect myself, it does not trouble me if others hold me lightly. ~Max Nordau
After running into troubles regarding people's ignorance and my perception of them lacking respect for me because of it, I saw this quote quite soon afterwards posted by AIESEC International, and thought, 'Perfect.' I really scare myself sometimes, when acts of moral irresponsibility leave no burden on my conscience, and yet on a very constant and conscious level, I attach so much importance to having a moral compass. I do believe that this defines a person, and this must make me not a very good one... but there are a few things about which I am sure.
In the case of people like who live private lives which only go on parade before ourselves, we must establish an inner model to serve as touchstones of our actions, by which we at times savour ourselves or fog ourselves. I have my own laws and law courts to pass judgement upon me and I appeal to them rather than elsewhere. I restrain myself according to the standards of others, but enlarge them according to my own. No-one but you knows whether you are base and cruel, or loyal and dedicated. Others never see you; they surmise you from uncertain conjections; they do not see your nature so much as your artifice... your own conscience gives weighty judgement on your virtues and vices: remove that, and all lies sprawling.
Why should I give a damn about what others say? When my mum and sister were taken aback the other night by my outburst of distress, I identified one of the main sources as people, especially those widely considered 'intelligent' and excelled academically and maybe even socially, didn't have an inkling as to the way of thinking by which I live, where you don't automatically dismiss someone's ambition or choices based on your very narrow, limited world view on the matter. The kind of confidence they gain from the aforementioned success in scholastic pursuits (I was going to say 'school' but I miss being wanky) fills them and makes them so sure and flippant in their remarks. How can these people be so proud of themselves when they can't even practise tolerance and understanding, or even entertain the thought that everything they know can and should be exposed to a healthy level of doubt and skepticism?
I've been very harsh on myself too. In alignment with my interest in different techniques of effectively mass-communicating messages, I've also been giving thought to effective ways for communicating with the masses. You can't expect everyone to think in the same way as you do, and so long as that is kept in mind, along with the idea that you can learn something from everyone you talk to, that's when discussions are balanced and stimulated and 'progress' is made... but more on that topic another time. At its lowest common denominator, I just sound like a whiny teenager claiming, 'nobody understands me!' or maybe even worse, a pretentious arts student dramatically stating the very same thing. It's always useful to look at yourself through the lenses of others, even if you're absolutely certain it isn't true.
In this case, it's not that I don't think anyone doesn't understand me. My friends and family, for the most part, I have been able to earnestly communicate my reasons for choices and they understand and accept it, so this is most of my mind reassured. The rest of me that still cares about what others say is partly oversensitive pettiness, and partly great distress that comes back to the fact that I can't believe some people don't want to learn, or are so quick to judge when in actual fact they don't know anything about what they're judging.
It's both comforting and productive to talk to those not necessarily the same as you, but open to ways of thinking other than their own, and are able to thoughtfully substantiate their own views. It's just as important, perhaps even more so, to speak to those who aren't as open. As frustrated and perhaps, at some points again, emotional I'll be at dealing with the latter, all in a day of trying to better understand how a wide array of people tick, and another part of my training is learning to suck it up, princess.
Sunday 12 August 2012
Tuesday 19 June 2012
how does that even...
Last night, my dad and family friend left for China after visiting for three weeks.
This was our family friend's first time out of the country.
Almost every night she was here, she would sit at the kitchen bench with glasses borrowed from Mum (because she lost all her pairs in Sydney and Queensland) with our tablet and read news websites banned in China. She asked to see pictures of the 1989 Tiananmen Square Massacre. She would sit motionless for a couple of hours at a time, only moving her hand occasionally to select other stories, only moving her mouth every now and then to utter a sigh.
It's not going to work forever, it's not even working properly now, and when it starts crumbling to a point when they should be worried, I wonder what they're going to do.
This was our family friend's first time out of the country.
Almost every night she was here, she would sit at the kitchen bench with glasses borrowed from Mum (because she lost all her pairs in Sydney and Queensland) with our tablet and read news websites banned in China. She asked to see pictures of the 1989 Tiananmen Square Massacre. She would sit motionless for a couple of hours at a time, only moving her hand occasionally to select other stories, only moving her mouth every now and then to utter a sigh.
It's not going to work forever, it's not even working properly now, and when it starts crumbling to a point when they should be worried, I wonder what they're going to do.
Thursday 14 June 2012
work small, think broad.
My problems are clear. First of all, everything becomes more interesting when there are exams to study for. I don't recall being as inspired or enthused to research so far and widely on everything I'm reading about now, because new things are presented to me all the time. Everything just wants to rush out in a messy stream of word-vomit but I'll try to go through everything slowly.
I'll start by scrambling for a connection between what I'm currently doing and what I'm supposed to be doing - my interests having some sort of uni-related foundation. Despite everyone's complaints about Reason, the ideas it has brought to me throughout the semester, some of which I've left but others - particularly ones mentioned only fleetingly, like George Price - I've taken upon myself to look into further.
What's been on my mind? This 1996 article on George Price from The Guardian Joey linked me this morning, where I pondered out in an extremely long reply where my fascination and confusion lay - a staunch atheist turning to organised religion when findings based in his own life work - cold, hard mathematical and scientific proof - render him desolate and depressed beyond any salvation but a Christian one. The mathematical equation of altruism implying that other traits - so sweepingly, forbiddingly referred to as the 'darker side of humanity' in all of this - can similarly be passed down, commanded by evolution. A man of science so shaken by the discovery that these traits we thought so unique to humankind can have biological limitations... perhaps, in some ways, it would've blurred the distinction between religion and science somewhat. Those who stand firmly on the side of the latter have often criticised destiny, fate and implied lack of free will religion presents. What a betrayal it must've felt to discover that no matter what avenue we choose to draw our beliefs from, scientific or religious, that even in the field of his choosing, it is not any divine commandment but genetics shaping us from the get-go as to who we are. Not necessarily... it would've comforted him to think more greatly about what the journalist continues to ponder. Our morality isn't dictated by evolution:
Evolutionary theory is a science of averages and mathematical abstractions, whereas we live our lives uniquely and unrepeatably. The altruistic or selfless acts that interest us as ethical beings are those that people choose freely, not those we cannot avoid.
So maybe in his charitable work with the poor in his life following this refinement of the altruism equation desperately sought to prove this to himself, daily. This somewhat reminds me of my ever-shortening tether to exam preparation. Does morality come from reason or our will?
That should currently be my main focus, and yet I treat it as a tangent. TED: Ideas Worth Spreading first crossed my path during O-Week, when a volunteer wearing a 'TEDx' t-shirt presented me with a bookmark, asking if I was interested in bringing 'good ideas' to Melbourne Uni. The vagueness of it all made me apprehensive, so I accepted the bookmark but just moved on, not bothering to find out what he was actually talking about. Lo and behold, I link it back to my subjects again - throughout the semester, we watched plenty of population health-related TED talks in Famine, mostly by Hans Gosling (love that guy and his storage boxes to represent millions of people, and his massive pointing stick). Even more recently - i.e. when SWOTVAC started - I decided to take more initiative and see what other subjects were on offer. Thank god for newsfeed updates, because the videos present themselves to me in stalkfeed quite frequently. I just finished watching a talk given by the co-founder of Health Leads, an organisation striving to reform healthcare in America by empowering doctors to provide prescriptions for nutritious food, heating etc. just as they would medicine, to combat underlying socio-economic issues - which often lead to preventable medical presentations. The prevention over treatment principle has never rung out so strongly with me, and that is because I am getting impatient with all the good ideas that are bombarding me. Ideas - good, new, innovative ideas - are powerful instigators of motivation and inspiration, and necessary to wreak change. It's the manifestation of these ideas into action, however, that truly impresses me. I think what Health Leads envisions and that the work they carry out is not only important, but also clever in that their main source of labour is college student volunteers. Their mission is targeted, and specific, and that's the way it should be.
Work small while thinking broadly.
How do I personally want to contribute? This is where I really wanted to start the post, when I began typing 'My problems are clear' - there's so much I want to do, and I don't think that dabbling in a bit of this and then heading over for a bit of that will be neither effective nor satisfying. I believe in equipping myself with a set of solid skills I can use to analyse and solve problems. There are many innumerable skill sets that contribute to policy formation - economics, finance and politics being only a few of personal interest (although recently, thanks to famine, global health is on the agenda as well), as well as engineering and all areas of specific studies under the broad spheres of sciences, physical and social. Dabbling allows me to gain a grounding and appreciation of what others do, but in order to contribute meaningfully, I need to find out what I can do best. Work small but think broad.
Being able to get a message across, as I've mentioned before, is so crucial in actually seeing your plans come into fruition. Throughout history, there have been many instances where advocates lay their cards on the table. They bear their hearts and raw passion to the people, and the people lap it up. I just don't think you can only rely on the sincerity you personally feel towards your mission, or public exposure and awareness. These things must continue, of course, but you need better ways of presenting a reasonable case to the skeptics and, even more challengingly, the indifferent. The skeptics who actively oppose your stance will have a vested issue in the subject already, but the first step in reaching out to the indifferent is to engage them in the first place. You do not successfully do this by preaching. Finding out what matters to them and acknowledging that you know it's important is key. From this, a number of things can happen.
First is that they can find within their own value system some method of supporting yours. Commercials on TV which started cropping up maybe as early as last year or the year before do a perfect job of revamping the 'save-the-environment' message: 'This is ____. ____ is not a hippie, ____ is not looking to save the planet, ____ just wants to save on her electricity and gas bills.'
"Save the environment, save the planet."
People aren't convinced when you throw a big, hairy, audacious goal at them.
Sometimes when they try, the overwhelmingness of what you're asking them to achieve leaves them floundering and forgetting the simple measures they can take to help out.
"Turn off your appliances at the powerpoint and save a few on your bills."
Better, and tangibly helpful.
Second is that if their values are completely contrary, the very fact you have acknowledged them places them in clear comparison. They may learn from you, but most importantly - you might learn from them. You might have what you think are the clearest goals for the most benevolent outcome in the world, but there are going to be flaws in what you want to achieve.
Understand the people you are trying to connect with.
I have to get up in about three hours, but my last notable plug as of late has already been linked in the post below, but Zen Pencils is a bloody good website in general. See what you personally get out of it.
Work small, think broad, learn what makes the people around you tick.
LEMON OUT.
I wish I had a citrus fruit surname.
Being able to get a message across, as I've mentioned before, is so crucial in actually seeing your plans come into fruition. Throughout history, there have been many instances where advocates lay their cards on the table. They bear their hearts and raw passion to the people, and the people lap it up. I just don't think you can only rely on the sincerity you personally feel towards your mission, or public exposure and awareness. These things must continue, of course, but you need better ways of presenting a reasonable case to the skeptics and, even more challengingly, the indifferent. The skeptics who actively oppose your stance will have a vested issue in the subject already, but the first step in reaching out to the indifferent is to engage them in the first place. You do not successfully do this by preaching. Finding out what matters to them and acknowledging that you know it's important is key. From this, a number of things can happen.
First is that they can find within their own value system some method of supporting yours. Commercials on TV which started cropping up maybe as early as last year or the year before do a perfect job of revamping the 'save-the-environment' message: 'This is ____. ____ is not a hippie, ____ is not looking to save the planet, ____ just wants to save on her electricity and gas bills.'
"Save the environment, save the planet."
People aren't convinced when you throw a big, hairy, audacious goal at them.
Sometimes when they try, the overwhelmingness of what you're asking them to achieve leaves them floundering and forgetting the simple measures they can take to help out.
"Turn off your appliances at the powerpoint and save a few on your bills."
Better, and tangibly helpful.
Second is that if their values are completely contrary, the very fact you have acknowledged them places them in clear comparison. They may learn from you, but most importantly - you might learn from them. You might have what you think are the clearest goals for the most benevolent outcome in the world, but there are going to be flaws in what you want to achieve.
Understand the people you are trying to connect with.
I have to get up in about three hours, but my last notable plug as of late has already been linked in the post below, but Zen Pencils is a bloody good website in general. See what you personally get out of it.
Work small, think broad, learn what makes the people around you tick.
LEMON OUT.
I wish I had a citrus fruit surname.
Tuesday 12 June 2012
striking a balance
Children have this ridiculously sensitive radar when it comes to spotting hypocrisy. So when I tell off my tuition kids for eating in class when they shouldn't, that of course means I have to let my apple oxidise on the table for another hour while my stomach growls in protest.
It also means I need to yell at girls who eat in class just as much as the guys who eat in class or be accused of 'sexism' and lots of 'oOoOOOOoOoooOO-ing' from all over the room. Twelve year olds.
It's not about the eating though - it's the attitude. With it, I cannot deal. I had my many bratty moments as a kid/tween/teen/even now but finding myself increasingly hypocritical in the way I deal with those bursts of bad attitude.
Every time a child feels misunderstood by their parent or teacher or some form of adult, they should write down exactly how they feel and how they think it could've been dealt with. It should be a mandatory universal manual. Even now, all my past instances are becoming hazier and hazier as I revert to the traditional 'adult' method of dealing with my students which I hate. There's a quote I once read and I can't believe I haven't been able to google it on the internet, but it goes something like...
"Children live in a world surrounded by a ten-foot wall, and adults only have five-foot ladders."
Work on closing the gaps everywhere.
It also means I need to yell at girls who eat in class just as much as the guys who eat in class or be accused of 'sexism' and lots of 'oOoOOOOoOoooOO-ing' from all over the room. Twelve year olds.
It's not about the eating though - it's the attitude. With it, I cannot deal. I had my many bratty moments as a kid/tween/teen/even now but finding myself increasingly hypocritical in the way I deal with those bursts of bad attitude.
Every time a child feels misunderstood by their parent or teacher or some form of adult, they should write down exactly how they feel and how they think it could've been dealt with. It should be a mandatory universal manual. Even now, all my past instances are becoming hazier and hazier as I revert to the traditional 'adult' method of dealing with my students which I hate. There's a quote I once read and I can't believe I haven't been able to google it on the internet, but it goes something like...
"Children live in a world surrounded by a ten-foot wall, and adults only have five-foot ladders."
Work on closing the gaps everywhere.
Friday 8 June 2012
and it goes on and on and on
Amanda Palmer is quite amazing. Reading through her blog
Also, something my dad said to me on taking Reason, a subject that's essentially the history of philosophy, and doing arts in general:
I'm glad you're learning these skills because they'll be important no matter what career you have. Learning this will make you a cultured, more knowledgable person. You won't be one of those people who doesn't know anything and can only talk about their job... 我人为你学像reason这些最基本基础对你将来无论什么职业都会有好处。使你变成一个更有文化的人， 以后不是那种只会织讨论工作的人。那多无聊啊！这样也是一种没出息的人。
Which I think is one of the nicest things he's ever said to me. He can be very set upon and passionate about his own points of view, which is why we've always clashed so much... so when he says something anything, I know he means it, and it's nice to know he means this.
I still feel nagging paranoia and the need to justify myself, which makes me come off as quite defensive. Obviously it hasn't been completely reconciled within myself. My mind is swayed this way and that, and it's most annoying to be told by people that I have no sense of direction in life... when I think my idea of where I want it all to head is much clearer than most. Specific degrees sometimes indicate certainty, but for most people I know, they instead indicate fear and a need to know exactly where they're going to end up, and what kind of career is going to be bringing in the money to put food on the table. There's either a lack of confidence though or probably a typical parents-stopping-you-from-reaching-your-dreams.
Yet, what happens if someone you know wants to study art or music but you know that they're truly shit? Years of piano and music theory have confirmed to me personally that I'll never be great shakes as a well-rounded musician. It's these kinds of things that are intuitive and you're either born with the talent or not. You can work as hard as you can and raise yourself from below average to mediocre, mediocre to good, good to a little above average... or harder still, below average to above average, mediocre to pretty damn good, whatever names you choose to give the degrees, it's still not going to be the same as someone who is born and, well...
I know I'm a cynic and it would delight me to be proven wrong by the sort of people I have in mind. If it doesn't, what happens when something you've based your identity upon fails to meet you halfway?
As far as I can remember, my earliest ambition was to be an author. Tiff linked me to this which in turn led me to this and then, as Facebook is so wholly integrated into my life, I popped over just to make sure Neil Gaiman was indeed one of my 'Likes', forgetting momentarily that I occasionally see his updates in my newsfeed. His current profile picture is a Simpsons rendition of himself, which reinforces one of the key things I've drawn from the Simpsons - if you feature or are referenced in the Simpsons, you know you've made an impact on pop culture. For good reason too - the man is extraordinary in what he does and remains my favourite author. Even in that address I just linked, his imploration to make good art... that's something I firmly, passionately believe in, but too much of me is still cautious to completely agree with him - another one of those, what if you are just really not that good at what you want to do? - is it too much to ask for a chance to give it a wholehearted go but have another life at the same time? I don't want people to assume that writing is the very essence of my being either.
What have I really been passionate about?
Something that no-one has to tell me to do, that I forget about the other constraints of time when I'm doing it and capture my easily wandering attention instantly?
Madrigal... history... my ideas. I still thinking too much thinking and not enough doing, especially acting upon what you're thinking, is a vice, and I know it from personal experience.
Why the fuck am I scared to let my ideas known in certain groups and how much does their approval matter? I'm pretty sure I'm doing myself a greater disservice by being so goddamn careful about where I verbally tread. To be uninteresting is the worst.
I don't mind what takes up my time as long as I feel it's fulfilling in some way. So I've had less time to study this semester... but I've gone out and made myself realise what I can do and what I have yet to learn - it's a weird mixture of putting myself down, where I remind myself of what's yet to come but at the same time trying to bully myself into showing what I already do have.
Finally, sometimes when I reach that point and I think I know a lot of principles, gotten them securely under the belt, I need to ask myself if I'm seeing them through and living by them. Practising what I preach. If I really want to help on a larger scale, I should start with supporting the people immediately around me.
Also, something my dad said to me on taking Reason, a subject that's essentially the history of philosophy, and doing arts in general:
I'm glad you're learning these skills because they'll be important no matter what career you have. Learning this will make you a cultured, more knowledgable person. You won't be one of those people who doesn't know anything and can only talk about their job... 我人为你学像reason这些最基本基础对你将来无论什么职业都会有好处。使你变成一个更有文化的人， 以后不是那种只会织讨论工作的人。那多无聊啊！这样也是一种没出息的人。
Which I think is one of the nicest things he's ever said to me. He can be very set upon and passionate about his own points of view, which is why we've always clashed so much... so when he says something anything, I know he means it, and it's nice to know he means this.
I still feel nagging paranoia and the need to justify myself, which makes me come off as quite defensive. Obviously it hasn't been completely reconciled within myself. My mind is swayed this way and that, and it's most annoying to be told by people that I have no sense of direction in life... when I think my idea of where I want it all to head is much clearer than most. Specific degrees sometimes indicate certainty, but for most people I know, they instead indicate fear and a need to know exactly where they're going to end up, and what kind of career is going to be bringing in the money to put food on the table. There's either a lack of confidence though or probably a typical parents-stopping-you-from-reaching-your-dreams.
Yet, what happens if someone you know wants to study art or music but you know that they're truly shit? Years of piano and music theory have confirmed to me personally that I'll never be great shakes as a well-rounded musician. It's these kinds of things that are intuitive and you're either born with the talent or not. You can work as hard as you can and raise yourself from below average to mediocre, mediocre to good, good to a little above average... or harder still, below average to above average, mediocre to pretty damn good, whatever names you choose to give the degrees, it's still not going to be the same as someone who is born and, well...
I know I'm a cynic and it would delight me to be proven wrong by the sort of people I have in mind. If it doesn't, what happens when something you've based your identity upon fails to meet you halfway?
As far as I can remember, my earliest ambition was to be an author. Tiff linked me to this which in turn led me to this and then, as Facebook is so wholly integrated into my life, I popped over just to make sure Neil Gaiman was indeed one of my 'Likes', forgetting momentarily that I occasionally see his updates in my newsfeed. His current profile picture is a Simpsons rendition of himself, which reinforces one of the key things I've drawn from the Simpsons - if you feature or are referenced in the Simpsons, you know you've made an impact on pop culture. For good reason too - the man is extraordinary in what he does and remains my favourite author. Even in that address I just linked, his imploration to make good art... that's something I firmly, passionately believe in, but too much of me is still cautious to completely agree with him - another one of those, what if you are just really not that good at what you want to do? - is it too much to ask for a chance to give it a wholehearted go but have another life at the same time? I don't want people to assume that writing is the very essence of my being either.
What have I really been passionate about?
Something that no-one has to tell me to do, that I forget about the other constraints of time when I'm doing it and capture my easily wandering attention instantly?
Madrigal... history... my ideas. I still thinking too much thinking and not enough doing, especially acting upon what you're thinking, is a vice, and I know it from personal experience.
Why the fuck am I scared to let my ideas known in certain groups and how much does their approval matter? I'm pretty sure I'm doing myself a greater disservice by being so goddamn careful about where I verbally tread. To be uninteresting is the worst.
I don't mind what takes up my time as long as I feel it's fulfilling in some way. So I've had less time to study this semester... but I've gone out and made myself realise what I can do and what I have yet to learn - it's a weird mixture of putting myself down, where I remind myself of what's yet to come but at the same time trying to bully myself into showing what I already do have.
Finally, sometimes when I reach that point and I think I know a lot of principles, gotten them securely under the belt, I need to ask myself if I'm seeing them through and living by them. Practising what I preach. If I really want to help on a larger scale, I should start with supporting the people immediately around me.
Tuesday 29 May 2012
worthwhile stress
"It's never been about who you are as a person because that's up to you, you gotta choose that stuff. It's about how people treat you - that's what race is about." --Donald Glover.
No, this isn't going to be some impassioned equality rant. However, a brief moment of admiration for this Community star, ex-30 Rock writer is definitely needed, - what better place to insert matter-of-fact truths than a twenty minute standup on Comedy Central? Ever since I joined AIESEC, I've thought a lot about effectively mass-communicating messages. If there's ever a way to make someone pay attention and realise the importance of your message, that it's not when you preach your morals and perspectives till they're suffocating and gasping for propaganda-free air... it's when it's relayed in amongst jokes about midgets and penises of course.
Extreme fallacies heard in the last couple of days:
No, this isn't going to be some impassioned equality rant. However, a brief moment of admiration for this Community star, ex-30 Rock writer is definitely needed, - what better place to insert matter-of-fact truths than a twenty minute standup on Comedy Central? Ever since I joined AIESEC, I've thought a lot about effectively mass-communicating messages. If there's ever a way to make someone pay attention and realise the importance of your message, that it's not when you preach your morals and perspectives till they're suffocating and gasping for propaganda-free air... it's when it's relayed in amongst jokes about midgets and penises of course.
Extreme fallacies heard in the last couple of days:
#1 the case of J's friend
Success at the highest degree is measured by magnitude of the positive impact your contribution has on humanity.
Since the compass, print press, gunpowder and paper, Asians have not invented or innovated anything of note in the past 2000 years.
The lightbulb was invented by a white man, smarter than the smartest member of an Amazonian tribe.
The white man is smarter than that smartest Amazonian tribesman/woman because former invented the lightbulb and the latter did not.
Therefore, smart white people are smarter than the smartest Asians... or Amazonian tribe members.
Conveniently sweeping socio-economic factors under the rug?
Freely interchanging terms of success and intelligence?
Forgetting that some of the most useful innovations were just fluke discoveries.
Assuming that the most intelligent person who may figure out the logistics of getting us to Mars in the future when Earth dies, but may be so busy in doing so that they forget to have a family, will ask themselves at the end of their lonely lives, 'Have I really succeeded'?
According to who's standards?
Even if
IF
Everything above holds true
If we all lived with the exact same opportunities afforded to us
Ignoring nature and trigger of motivations i.e. do we all innately want to save the world, are we only successful 'at the highest level' if we contribute large?
#2 the case of humble arrogance
Society is structured like a pyramid with leaders on top.
Arguer is a 'middle man' who is not interested in the financial review, only the herald sun's thickass sports section
Goes on to talk about how the 'lower ranks' have not the interest because they don't have the intelligence.
People are not born equal but everyone deserves to be afforded equal opportunities, including respect, or at least the chance to earn it. Elitist attitudes, story-changing and double standards when you the self-proclaimed middle man are different from those without the mental capacity to comprehend what you merely find 'boring'.
I will be amazed if any of this makes sense to anyone.
Friday 11 May 2012
Friday 23 March 2012
on knowledge and application
Back when philosophy was the most esteemed branch of learnings and anything practical and applicable were 'mechanics' that tricked nature, I honestly can't believe those high and pretentious people thought learning for the sake of learning was the most noble pursuit. Science could only be called so if it was studying what nature had already laid out for us... damn engineers bastardising 'the pure excellence of geometry'.
Load of bullshit - what's the use of learning something just so you can be all smug that you've discerned one minuscule portion of the universe, our existence or whatever if you're not going to use it? Sure knowledge for the sake of knowledge is fun to gain and feels good to have but my freakin' god, we have the capacity for so much more. The reality is that the concept of universities has shifted to be a provider of skills as much as knowledge. Sitting around contemplating life doesn't cut it for a majority of us these days, and I personally can't wait to get out and do. Contribute, create meaning, anything and everything besides from being a person saturated with wisdom, up on their high horse, and doing nothing about it.
Unbearable.
Load of bullshit - what's the use of learning something just so you can be all smug that you've discerned one minuscule portion of the universe, our existence or whatever if you're not going to use it? Sure knowledge for the sake of knowledge is fun to gain and feels good to have but my freakin' god, we have the capacity for so much more. The reality is that the concept of universities has shifted to be a provider of skills as much as knowledge. Sitting around contemplating life doesn't cut it for a majority of us these days, and I personally can't wait to get out and do. Contribute, create meaning, anything and everything besides from being a person saturated with wisdom, up on their high horse, and doing nothing about it.
Unbearable.
Wednesday 21 March 2012
the climb to branching out and growing up
I love this so much right now (I feel so close to you right now, it's a forcefield).
If there's anything one picture-worth-a-thousand-words that could capture "it", here you go.
Feels like there's barely been any time to properly think about where it's all heading (I carefully backspaced and rewording to ensure no first person pronouns) there's exhaustion, guilt, apprehension but mostly I am so excited.
All of it can/(will) happen, all that's left to do is stop gazing with starry eyes into the future and actually learn how to write an annotated bibliography... as always, arts student lyf.
Sunday 26 February 2012
maus
by Art Spiegelman.
"Of course, darling, to me you can ask anything!" the affection is evident amidst the stifling, head-through-ground miser qualities about the guy and, you do feel sorry for him. Mostly Anja. I should've brought the book back with me to reread.
Aim to be interesting and exciting and engaging without the insulating layer of pretention. Follow that instant liking and approval that isn't dictated by so-called critical opinion, which I wish was not so universally applicable sometimes but then I think I'm starting to use words, for the sake of wording uses.
It's not so much being cryptic as it is being unsure of your own direction. Only furthers your desire that your bullshit should convince anyone else. Writing in the second person only attempts to disassociate my own fears. I care too much and I care too little. One day I'll reach beautiful without the showy.
Once upon a time I had tides to control
I had moons to spin, and stars to ignite.
Death Cab on Wednesday was probably my favourite part of o-week... and it wasn't even part of o-week. Really must google the supporting act at the beginning because they weren't bad, weren't bad at all. I knew Tiff was itching for the real thing to come out.. and now I can't get Lack of Color out of my head.
And when I see you,
I really see you upside down.
....
This is fact not fiction,
For the first time in years.
All the girls in every girly magazine
Can't make me feel
Any less alone
I'm reaching for the phone
To call at 7:03
And on your machine I slur a plea for you to come home
But I know it's too late
I should've given you a reason to stay.
His voice has this poignantly American quality about it. Coming from me that'd usually have pretty negative connotations too, yet it's a selling point for Ben. The side-to-side shuffle dancing was so endearing it's no wonder some chick threw her bra up to him in the very first song... with everyone near the stage admiring her excellent aim.
I am so happy for Joey and the next four years of her life starting from August/September. It's inspired me to really explore my exchange options and if all goes according to plan,
New York City - centre of the universe.
"Of course, darling, to me you can ask anything!" the affection is evident amidst the stifling, head-through-ground miser qualities about the guy and, you do feel sorry for him. Mostly Anja. I should've brought the book back with me to reread.
Aim to be interesting and exciting and engaging without the insulating layer of pretention. Follow that instant liking and approval that isn't dictated by so-called critical opinion, which I wish was not so universally applicable sometimes but then I think I'm starting to use words, for the sake of wording uses.
It's not so much being cryptic as it is being unsure of your own direction. Only furthers your desire that your bullshit should convince anyone else. Writing in the second person only attempts to disassociate my own fears. I care too much and I care too little. One day I'll reach beautiful without the showy.
Once upon a time I had tides to control
I had moons to spin, and stars to ignite.
Death Cab on Wednesday was probably my favourite part of o-week... and it wasn't even part of o-week. Really must google the supporting act at the beginning because they weren't bad, weren't bad at all. I knew Tiff was itching for the real thing to come out.. and now I can't get Lack of Color out of my head.
And when I see you,
I really see you upside down.
....
This is fact not fiction,
For the first time in years.
All the girls in every girly magazine
Can't make me feel
Any less alone
I'm reaching for the phone
To call at 7:03
And on your machine I slur a plea for you to come home
But I know it's too late
I should've given you a reason to stay.
His voice has this poignantly American quality about it. Coming from me that'd usually have pretty negative connotations too, yet it's a selling point for Ben. The side-to-side shuffle dancing was so endearing it's no wonder some chick threw her bra up to him in the very first song... with everyone near the stage admiring her excellent aim.
I am so happy for Joey and the next four years of her life starting from August/September. It's inspired me to really explore my exchange options and if all goes according to plan,
New York City - centre of the universe.
Tuesday 17 January 2012
Day three (second full)
Playing who-has-natural-double-eyelids on the train
Whipped guys with sparkly blue bows on top of their heads to match their girlfriends
Existence of supermarkets
Existence of electronics
Atlantic adventure ❤
Disappointing detergent-tasting snow cone
Super happiness on pharaoh's fury
Insistent Korean BBQ restaurant owner cutting up meat, giving tips on how to make the best lettuce wrap and deep-frying slices of garlic in a foil cupcake patty full of sesame oil
But what's really plaguing my mind are the uni offers. Even though I already knew I was sure to get my first real preferences, I was edgy all day and still wanted to check officially. In fact I think that was half the problem - it wasn't like waiting for vce results where I was uncertain about so much, it was the first small step in my anticipated future and yet a small part I me remains unsettled.
It's also got to do with background - growing up azZzZZzn with a doctor for sister I did not manage to 'beat' in vce (but who fully supports me) and a father who'll be beadily eying my arts degree till I enter a 'respectable' graduate program. People asking me if I feel like I'm wasting my atar. I'd be a much stronger person if I pretended like it didn't bother me, but now it can act as motivation.
I'm entering this year doing everything I'll do not because I had to, or because I believe it will make my parents exceptionally happy (lol dad... mum's come round though) but because I want to, I knew my options, still know the ones left and despite this smidgen of hesitance that I'm attempting to dispel here, I can't wait.
Whipped guys with sparkly blue bows on top of their heads to match their girlfriends
Existence of supermarkets
Existence of electronics
Atlantic adventure ❤
Disappointing detergent-tasting snow cone
Super happiness on pharaoh's fury
Insistent Korean BBQ restaurant owner cutting up meat, giving tips on how to make the best lettuce wrap and deep-frying slices of garlic in a foil cupcake patty full of sesame oil
But what's really plaguing my mind are the uni offers. Even though I already knew I was sure to get my first real preferences, I was edgy all day and still wanted to check officially. In fact I think that was half the problem - it wasn't like waiting for vce results where I was uncertain about so much, it was the first small step in my anticipated future and yet a small part I me remains unsettled.
It's also got to do with background - growing up azZzZZzn with a doctor for sister I did not manage to 'beat' in vce (but who fully supports me) and a father who'll be beadily eying my arts degree till I enter a 'respectable' graduate program. People asking me if I feel like I'm wasting my atar. I'd be a much stronger person if I pretended like it didn't bother me, but now it can act as motivation.
I'm entering this year doing everything I'll do not because I had to, or because I believe it will make my parents exceptionally happy (lol dad... mum's come round though) but because I want to, I knew my options, still know the ones left and despite this smidgen of hesitance that I'm attempting to dispel here, I can't wait.
Monday 16 January 2012
Korea insofar
White guys with Korean girls
Really really clean toilets
No electronics
No supermarkets
Lots of glasses stores
Wifi everywhere
Consistent prices - no bargaining
Delicious banana milk
Feared intestines
Octopus everywhere
Waffles advertised everywhere
Really really clean toilets
No electronics
No supermarkets
Lots of glasses stores
Wifi everywhere
Consistent prices - no bargaining
Delicious banana milk
Feared intestines
Octopus everywhere
Waffles advertised everywhere
Wednesday 4 January 2012
little ladies and gentlemen
Woodend has the best collection of playgrounds - asscrack-hurting jungle gym, massive cut diamond-shaped rope structure we all climbed and sat down... gee words are coming to me so beautifully today... and a gloriously large flying fox which puts all the ones you grab onto with your hands to shame, as this accommodated for sitting/standing... needless to say, Cynthia H and I were in love with it.
The kids who had possession of the flying fox were so cute as well when we walked up. The brown-haired boy who had a sense of self-appointed authority about him tugged the seat away from the impatient blonde girl and instructed, 'let them have a shot, they haven't gone yet'. The four children proceeded to happily outline all the different ways the flying fox may be enjoyed - their favourite seemed to be 'spin it, and stand up'. I took their first suggestion of 'booounce! bounce on it!' and bobbed my way blissfully to the end. Happy days. I enjoy that my first month of adulthood has been marked by more childhood activities than ever. Should've never listened to my pop... made me give up monkey bars. All those tricks - I cudda been somebody, man.
Packing. is. such. a. PAIN.
The kids who had possession of the flying fox were so cute as well when we walked up. The brown-haired boy who had a sense of self-appointed authority about him tugged the seat away from the impatient blonde girl and instructed, 'let them have a shot, they haven't gone yet'. The four children proceeded to happily outline all the different ways the flying fox may be enjoyed - their favourite seemed to be 'spin it, and stand up'. I took their first suggestion of 'booounce! bounce on it!' and bobbed my way blissfully to the end. Happy days. I enjoy that my first month of adulthood has been marked by more childhood activities than ever. Should've never listened to my pop... made me give up monkey bars. All those tricks - I cudda been somebody, man.
Packing. is. such. a. PAIN.
dying ten times over
Spent the afternoon with Borz who shouted a delightful lunch at Misty's Diner to not so delightful feelings of the gut later. I was not made for American-style food. Wasn't even aware that people ate chicken parmas with gravy instead of napoli sauce, and I'm not sure I preferred it. A cap'n crunch and peanut butter thickshake, chicken parma, garlic bread, side salad, fat fries and chili fries later both of us were complaining about wishes that went along the lines of death and pregnancy with food babies. Delicious stuff, but not for awhile...
Even though I'm often guilty of giving impersonal presents I absolutely love receiving ones I can walk past in my room, glance at and instantly be reminded of the giver, or like B's everyday hero charity card to help me on my journey to changing the world for the better. Can't decide, definitely a naice secular charity, leaning towards Fred Hollows. Pretty sure this isn't including, but I'd like to help out with Kiva at some point. Tired. Macedon Ranges tomorrow.
Even though I'm often guilty of giving impersonal presents I absolutely love receiving ones I can walk past in my room, glance at and instantly be reminded of the giver, or like B's everyday hero charity card to help me on my journey to changing the world for the better. Can't decide, definitely a naice secular charity, leaning towards Fred Hollows. Pretty sure this isn't including, but I'd like to help out with Kiva at some point. Tired. Macedon Ranges tomorrow.
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