don't know why i keep doing this to myself

or why other people do this to me.
The internet's too vast, you never know who could be reading... but to maintain a blog is to be willing to share these with a strange online audience.
It's a weird square (not even a triangle as I first thought), I feel let down, incredibly annoyed at how constrained and selective I have to be in venting, and how the last thing in the world I want to do is write a 1200 word story due in tomorrow when there are clearly more pressing concerns on my mind. I want to ask, for a peace of mind, but should I really sacrifice a possible good long-term relationship for the sake of temporary peace of mind? Will this peace of mind be temporary, and even if I do get it it will hurt my pride in another way.
"It's not anyone's fault," Mel says. Still can't help it entirely.

two day old delusions

I'm reading the motto under the logo of Arlena's old school, "Strength and Kindness."
She snorts.
Liqi says, "Arlena said it's more like 'bully or get bullied'."
High school can be such a bleak place! Seeing most of the year level blend into one melting pot of different colouerd jumpers, skirt styles (mostly short, except for Liqi's ridiculous ankle-length kilt) really emphasised everyone's different roots, educational ones at the very least... I still don't feel like a year twelve.